Discovering Your Motivating Factor for Change

Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns... We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.
— Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Routines. I have never been a “routine” kind of person. I never liked to go to work at the same time every day. I never was able to eat meals at certain times. I never get up or go to bed at the same time, nor did I have a nighttime or morning routine. I don’t work out on particular days and times. Routines always seemed more work to me than anything else.

I enjoyed the unknown.

Routines and schedules seemed confining and I wanted to be free! I guess my routine was actually not having a routine.

Then, my partner and I adopted 2 children. All of a sudden, routines were a must! The children needed to eat at normal times, go to bed at a certain time, and get to school at same time every day. We had their evening routines – dinner, baths, pajamas on, teeth brushed, books read, songs sung and whatever else they needed.

Each week, my partner and I had to sit down and figure out our schedules and decide who would pick up who at what time, who would make dinner, go to the grocery store or go work out that day. All of a sudden my life became something I had to plan each day. I had routines to attend to and schedules to adhere to.

This was a major shift in perspective for me! I had to figure out what was holding me back, why routines are a challenge for me and what it was going to take to move past these barriers. I had to dig deep and figure out why this change of behavior was important to me. I had to find my motivating factor for change, what we like to call in my health coaching program as “The Big MoFa."

The Big MoFa is the WHY behind your desire for the change you want to experience. We have probably all created goals for ourselves at various times in our lives but have found them difficult to reach. When it came to shifting my perspective that routines were confining and too much work, I had to find my motivating factor to keep me on track.

In the beginning, I was trying to “fake it to make it” because I believed I had no other options. It was really difficult to change the way I had been doing things most of my life. But eventually my beliefs about “routines” shifted and I was changing my behaviors because I wanted to and I was motivated by the outcome.

My motivating factor was wanting to experience more positive and happy relationships with my children and my partner. By embracing routines and schedules, my life became a little easier, my kids felt safer and more content, and there was less chaos and stress in our lives. Our relationships were stronger and we had more fun as a family.

Finding our WHY or our Big MoFa plays a huge role in creating sustainable change we want to see in our lives because it is where our choices will be made from. Choices should be made with intention instead of just from our automatic and ingrained way of being. We need to feel our behaviors are in alignment with our goals to help us stay on track and continue to move mindfully towards the transformation we want to experience. When we move forward with self-awareness, intention, non-judgement and kindness, eventually the changes we want to see just become a part of who we are and how we live your lives.

Do you have routines you want to change, shed, cultivate or nurture?

It is absolutely possible to create what you want in your life! You have the power, strength and knowledge within to accomplish your goals. What is also true is that shifting our lifelong beliefs and routines can be quite challenging and we need guidance, support and accountability along the way.

If you are interested in exploring what your big MoFa for change may be please contact me!

My 90-day Total Wellness Transformation program helps people create amazing things for themselves in all aspects of their lives. You can too!

Mindful Practice

Think of a few routines or activities you do each day. These are activities that most of us typically engage in mindlessly because we have been doing them most of our lives or daily for a very long time.

  • Brushing your teeth
  • Taking a shower
  • Drinking coffee or tea
  • Getting dressed
  • Walking the dog
  • Unloading the dishwasher
  • Driving around town

Choose one of these activities each day for the next week to focus on each day. There is no need to change the way you do these activities. The point of the exercise is to raise awareness during each activity and be more present while the activity is happening. Instead of mindlessly moving through it, attempt to be mindful with all of your senses.

FOR EXAMPLE: While you are drinking your coffee or tea, see the color, smell the aroma, feel the texture and temperature of the liquid in your mouth, really taste the flavors, experience how your mouth reacts to your first sip, listen to sounds while drinking and be present with what emotions you are feeling.

Try practicing this each day with different activities throughout the week and write down any reactions you may have to the experience of being mindful and present during it.

How was it different? What was new? What did you realize about the activity or yourself?

In gratitude,

Gina Watkins and the VWS Team
(360) 828-1429