Why Do Gender Pronouns Matter?
Johanna Stacy, LMHCA (She, They)
Gender pronouns are the terms people assign to their gender identity. Some of these are he/him, she/her, she/they, they/them, or ze/hir. Using and knowing a person's gender pronoun creates inclusion and affirms their gender identity.
We live in a society that views people through a gender binary system, meaning we are expected to be either a man or woman. We are expected to desire, behave, and look a particular way based on this belief which leaves no room for living between genders.The gender binary is restrictive by categorizing people in a limited way- ignoring a whole population of people that are non-binary, genderfluid, queer, transgender, and the list goes on.
We see the gender binary forced onto us as soon as we come into the world- gender reveal parties, toys assigned to a toddler based on their natal sex, or even in language with statements such as “he throws like a girl” or “act like a lady.”
A quick note on sex and gender, they mean different things. Sex refers to what is assigned at birth based on genitalia. Gender refers to a social construct based on societal and cultural norms. A key note on gender, there are two parts: A gender identity refers to the internal sense of who they are, while gender expression is the external presentation of how they identify, often described as masculine or feminine.
The top 3 reasons why gender pronouns are so important:
Being misgendered is a microaggression. Not only will someone feel dismissed and invalidated it can cause significant distress which has repercussions on someone’s mental health.
Using correct pronouns reduces depression, suicide ideation, and suicide risk in transgender and non-binary youth.
By offering your pronouns you become a better ally and help to normalize gender identity and expression.
In short, we cannot possibly know for certainty what is underneath someone’s clothes, how someone identifies or expresses their gender, or who they are attracted to based on how they present. We shouldn’t continue to make assumptions about someone’s identity and when we are unsure, we can ask. A tip on starting with this practice is to introduce yourself with your name followed by our chosen pronouns. For more on this topic, please sign up for our newsletter.